loss

The losses mount
Ripping away
Shards of my soul

The void lingers
Scars cover wounds
Pain souvenirs

Is this life?
Losing fragments
Until none remain

the end of something

One
Dinner out
Wings and drinks

Two
Nights before
Knot is tied

Three
Old friends
Recall life's yesterdays

definition

Baseball:
America's
Pastime? More like a way
To pass the time until football
Roll Tide

weakness

Tepid hands tremble
Heart pounds in head
Eyes glazed over
Refuse every tear

Faucet turned on
Noise needed
Weakness revealed
My deepest fear

Mirror cracked
Still reflects
Glaring, ashamed
I cannot cope

Fingers clench
Muscles tighten
A single prick
In place of hope


(07/18/07)

muse

The wilted countenance
The single tear
The last I ever
Brushed away

Letters in a drawer
Pictures in a box
But those in the heart
Fail to fade

The hollow rooms
The silent spaces
I once craved
Now serve to haunt

Pen to paper
I try to write
But the ink
Has all run out

My muse
Has gone


(02/21/07)

flush twice

Ol' Thomas Crapper
In his own mind, dashing and dapper
He fancied how the women would flock
When he bragged, "I invented the ballcock."

-------------------

I wonder if Thomas Crapper
Ever experienced a leaky flapper
Did he always light a candle
Or leave the seat up like a vandal

empty

Ofttimes
I miss my friend
Not the shell you are now
You breathe, walk around, but you're not
Alive

Joyless
As I recall
The you who used to laugh
I'm scared I'll never see that friend
Again

someday

Someday waits on sun-drenched sand
For lovers two
Walking heart in hand
A lost and lonesome wind in search of sails

Someday longs for stroke of pen
To close distance
'Tween long absent friends
Someday sighs as stubbornness prevails

Someday hopes and someday dreams
And forever someday always seems
Promises someday often makes
Yesterdays left in someday's wake

Someday I'll make time for you
Do all the things we meant to do
Someday we'll go here and there
Someday will be soon I swear

Someday breaks in distant place
Where promises are kept
And dreams are chased
Father and son play catch in open field


(06/23/08)

colors

At first it's mostly reds and pinks
Kisses make it hard to think
It's butterflies and pencil hearts
With arrows drawn straight through

Then come days of grays and greens
Discontentment, jealousies
But if you make it through all these
One starts to form from two

Sometimes there'll be stormy blues
Things you shouldn't say or do
I'm sorry and I still love you
Are words you learn to say

If you endure to see the whites
Wedding vows, honeymoon nights
There'll be more colors to survive
As years just melt away

At first it's mostly reds and pinks
Some say it's but a crazy dream
Silly me, I still believe
In colors

adrift

Out here on this sea
'Neath white cloud castles
My vessel a float
The sound of waves crashing
More than enough
To spark memories of you

Knowing I should swim
Against the current
I close my eyes
And begin to drift
Feeling every undulation
Of the ocean beneath me
Not caring where it takes me
Not wanting to wake
From this dream

After awhile --
A moment, an hour
A day or three
My vessel comes to rest
It startles me awake
And I find myself
Far downshore from where I started
The progress I had made, lost

So I begin again
Heading out into the deep
I swim against the current
The salt in the water
Burning my eyes

Water washes over
My footprints in the sand
So no one knows
I was ever there

Too many days
I let the waves
Carry me
Where they will


(01/24/07)

questionnaire

Has he put all your pieces back together
Those ones that I sent flying

Those months I watched us dying

I know sometimes those take a while to mend

Has he restored your faith in some forever

Is this your happy ending
Or are you just pretending
I know sometimes it's a hard thing to admit

Has he been all those things that I was never

Thoughtful and understanding
You're so damn demanding

I know sometimes I wanted to strangle you

Has he made you forget those nights in heaven
And all those weeks of hell
Have you forgiven yourself
I know sometimes
That's impossible
To do

rows and floes

Up yonder in that unseen somewhere
I wonder does he craft each one with care
Does he drag them with a finger across his sky
Or does he just sit and watch them drift by

Does he wake up early to color them each day
Does his mood determine whether white or gray
Or does he twist a handle and open his eyes
Is it more of a kaleidoscope surprise

Is each one a picture for us to discover
And does no one in fact look like any other
Are they thoughtfully placed there to lend us some shade
Or some days can't he bear to see what he made

Sometimes I wonder about clouds

cinquain of pain

Blind spot
Familiar dread
Pills dull, but only time
Will heal, damned debilitating
Migraine

island

Past darkened rooms
Reserved for long lost lovers
At the end of a long hallway
Littered with broken pieces
Never repaired
In that deepest
Most secluded part
I never stopped believing
Despite the sideways smile
The lonesome eyes
The scars and regret
When luck and logic
And all odds told me to give up
I think I always knew
That you existed
And in the midst
Of those raging waters
On that ocean of doubt
There always remained
An island of hope


(03/07/06)

happiness

I say
Happiness is
This kitten on my chest
Her paw on my hand, a perfect
Pillow

january

I remember January
The cold and the gray
The fight we had
The sky so sad
It cried for us that day

I remember angry words
And no thing left unsaid
The icy stares
The way it tears
When you know love is dead

I remember January
Like it was yesterday
Gasping for breath
Praying for death
Watching you walk away

I remember darkness
I thought would never end
My cursed pride
Our last goodbye
Losing my only friend

I remember January
The loss and the regret
I remember
January
Because I can't forget


(01/30/09)

crescent lune

Buzz and Neil golfed there
God's night light
A little cheesy?

bates

Obscure actress stars
Poor cinematography
Classic nonetheless

Forgotten hotel
Flashing sign reads vacancy
Fateful rainy night

Damsel in distress
She's just a stranger, mother
Norman can't resist


(08/29/07)

sometimes

Sometimes I wish
I could see myself me as others see me
Would I like what I found?
Would I be surprised, or ashamed?

Sometimes I don't want to be me
Wish I could move to a brand new place
Start over fresh
Where nobody knows me

Sometimes I feel alone in a crowd
Sometimes I feel smothered
Sometimes I really try
Sometimes I only pretend to

Sometimes I feel like the boy who never grew up
Sometimes I feel like an old broken down man
Sometimes I wonder why I was given so much
Sometimes I wish I had a little more

Sometimes my heart hurts
Sometimes believe it or not
I still think of her
But it's not the same

Sometimes I turn to the Bible
Sometimes I turn to pills
Sometimes I want to stop the world
I never asked to be on this ride

Sometimes I think about leaving
Would anyone miss me, really?
No wife, no kids
Sometimes that scares me

Sometimes I can't sleep at night
Sometimes I don't sleep alone
Sometimes I stay out late
Sometimes I stay out of sight

Sometimes I'm scared
Of living
Of dying
Of alone
Of together
Of marriage
Of divorce
Of forever
And never



Sometimes
I'm scared of heaven


Sometimes
I'm scared of it all


Sometimes
I don't make sense


(04/27/06)

eternal plan

Beyond the blue
If I make it somehow
That first day

While everyone else
Is in a scurry to
See the Savior

I'll search out
He who built the ark
To discuss mosquitoes

sand

aging face
mirror shows
only quickens
never slows

seconds, hours
days and years
memories summon
homesick tears

reaching out
fingers clasp
handle lacking
empty grasp

always hurry
in a rush
they say it flies
it really does

like sand
we watch it
fall

(12/20/06)

if

If I took you for granted
I could not apologize enough
And if I kept you at a distance
Well, that's just how I've always been

And if we could have been something more than we are now
I cannot help but take my share of the blame
And my share is a lot

If I took you for granted
I could not apologize enough
And if I ever pushed you away
Well, that's just how I've always been

And if we could be something more than we are now
I cannot help but want to take the chance
If there is a chance at all

If I took you for granted
It was never my intention
And if I ever pushed you away
I don't want to anymore

And if it's too late
Well, that's just how I've always been

 (08/09/10)

april

April
She's hard to love
I shake when she's angry
Her rage manifest in lightning
And gale

talladega

'Round here, boy
We don't say nothin' bad
'Bout Earnhardt.  Understand?

penknife

envelope conceals paper folded
carefully chosen words penned
fingers pressed, flap secured
fate is sealed

parcel ripped open carelessly
heart torn asunder instantly
words in red ignored
handle with care

resent not the messenger
the adage surely shant apply
when messenger and author
are the same

amid the ruins, one soul remains
feeling unloved, negligible
pen outduels sword
yet again

(06/27/07, with minor edits)

irreverent

She must've loved
Easter.  She was always talking
About her eggs

perfect

A perfect house
With two stories, twelve rooms
Affluence of space

A perfect family
On the facade, but it's
All a charade

A perfect pretense
There's no love, there is
Only distance, tension

A perfect scheme
She stays for his money
He hardly exists

A perfect waste
To treat love, to live
Life like this

A perfect tragedy
Too damn selfish to consider
The innocent children

perfume

Perfume hint caught
Memory sparked
That year I was in love

Eager heart leapt
Lesson relearned
Forever is but a word

Freely falling fast
Feeling remembered
And missed

Past replaces present
Eyes now tightly closed
Smile grazes lips

Midnight phone calls
Sultry afternoons
Slinky black dress

Past recedes to past
I'll always believe
I loved you best

(09/26/07)

the could'ves

We could
Have had the thing
That thing everyone wants
But years and self-doubt caused you to
Settle

roots

Us two

Fighting, at first
For the same ground
To escape the other's shadow
Then maturing
Content in our own petals
Yet forever sharing

An undeniable resemblance

Always side by side
Until someone
Picked you
Took you away
But if e'er you should miss me
Return to your roots
I am always here
Your sibling


April is National Poetry Month.  I am going to attempt to poem each day here. For this particular piece, I was given an image of two flowers and challenged to write a 55-word free verse poem.